This is a personal post by Evano Co-Founder Sarah.
“Everything is happening for you!” – If someone would have told me that sentence years ago, I probably would have called him crazy and not believed it. Today, I want to tell you my story. Why? Because I feel like it and I want to encourage.
I was bullied in elementary school because my sister has Down-Syndrome. When I was 11 years old, I saw my father die of a heart attack in front of my eyes. My mother then moved with me and my sister to a new state in Germany because my grandmother lived there. In the new school I was bullied again and changed schools a short time later again.
In my early 20s, the trauma of my father’s death kept coming up in me, but I managed to suppress it consistently. My subconscious mind “protected” me from the pain of my past by advising me to always be busy. Practical when you just had started freelancing. Moments of tranquility were unbearable for me. After some time, I dared and began to meditate. A time of healing began.
But then I got the diagnosis of a chronic autoimmune disease. My trust in life was shaken again. My fear of everything finally became so overwhelming that I was hardly able to leave the house alone.
Looking back, I can say my twenties really sucked. Today, when I tell my story to other people, I often hear in response, “Oh man, you poor thing!” I appreciate the compassion, but I am so incredibly grateful for all these experiences. Because every single event has made me the person I am today. And I really, really like me. I am exactly who I always wished I would be when I grew up 🙂
There is no shortcut for becoming happy.
It’s been a long road. I cried a lot, suppressed anger and sadness. Got hypnotized, read countless books, meditated and did yoga for many hours, talked to people, did somatic experience, got to know my inner child, let my ego tell me what is supposedly good for me and pursued wrong goals. In total, this journey of healing, as I call it today, took almost 10 years.
Nothing happens overnight. There were moments when I thought I had overcome the trauma, but a few months later it caught up with me again including fear and self-doubt. Every feeling wants to be heard! You just have to dare to listen to it. Lose the fear of all the terrible feelings. There is no shortcut for becoming happy. In the end, fear revealed to me the path to contentment and happiness.
I want to empower. For every single person out there. This path can and will take time. I want to encourage you to always listen to your gut. If it tells you there is more – I want more – my life should not look like this – go your way! Have courage. Have patience!
We have only this one life. Allow yourself to let ease and happiness into your life!